Mother Knows Best

Having one of my many conversations with my Mother when I was home for Thanksgiving break I stumbled onto something fascinating: Mothers know their kids to a point of scary and yet awe-strucking.

I don't really recall how the conversation started but we started talking about me being gay (a subject that has to be brought up once and a while to reinforce to my parents that I like penis but I digress), dating and relationships.

In the course of the very passionate talk (well more like me shouting and getting heated up) I said something on the lines about being undateable so she didn't have to worry about me being gay because there's no problem in something that doesn't exist. i.e. why worry that your son is gay when no man wants to touch him kind of thing.

Anyway, my Mother then precedes to talk to me about this and said something that made me realize why I love her so much and how insightful she is. She said to me, "I only worry because I know you. You love too much. You put yourself in 100%. I don't want you to get hurt." Those are quite her exact words but they're close enough. It just amazed me because it true.

If you are my friend you are my friend for life. Yes, you might be a jackass at times, might make me cry or do something crappy but with the good comes and the bad and what kind of friend would I be if I ran away everything things get rough? If you call me and need me I will be there in a hurry, as cliche as that is. This goes for my family too, no matter what the problem is I will listen and try my best to help out.

This is the same with a relationship. As a hopeless romantic as I am, I am not delusional and know that you have to work for a relationship. There are no quick fixes though we wish there were. I want someone to stand next to me, someone to share the good and the bad, someone to be my best friend, someone to care for me as I care for them.

At times it does scare me because I do put so much into relationships: family, friends, coworkers, lovers etc. I've been hurt a lot but I keep coming back for more because I believe that you get out what you put in.

So this post is to my Mother. For her care, her devotion, her insight, her presence, her understanding and most importantly her love.